Suicide Letters
by Lock Lokidottir
Summary: Sherlock actually died for his friends. If he told anyone he trusted such as John of his plans, they would have objections and get in the way- and Sherlock doesn't want them to dispair over his death, so to those close to him he leaves a personal note. Not a phone call, or an email, but a suicide note. R 'n' R! Angst/feels... hehe, I'm just evil like that!
1. Greg's letter

**_ The plot bunnies won't let me sleep. 'Nuff said. :D_**

**_In short, in my universe I think Sherlock actually died for his friends. These... suicide notes, I suppose you could call them, are written by Sherlock to multiple people, in letter form. He knows his fate, but he doesn't know about everything, if that makes sense. Put it like this- he _knows _he's going to have to die. _**

**_Why are they in letters? Because I like to torture you all and write it from Sherlock's point of view... partially. I just think he's a little bit victorian in his ways- a phone-call wouldn't cut it, but an email is too 'normal' and besides, who actually checks their email that often?_**

**_ANYWAY... enjoy, and please rate and review! :)_**

**_-L x_**

* * *

_Greg (?) Lestrade,_

_If you're reading this, I'm obviously dead and you, probably aided by John and Anderson (who wouldn't be sad; he'd probably want to have a nose around in my flat) have found these stacks of letters. _

_A phone-call wouldn't be enough. An email is terribly unprofessional. I want you to realise that I have actually taken time out to write these for you._

_The clue is in the first paragraph- I am obviously dead. This, right here, what you are reading, is my suicide note to you._

_Before you throw a strop, how I was so selfish, or how so many serial killers are now roaming the streets, let me explain._

_There were three snipers... possibly. Dear old Jim is getting predictable, that's what he would probably use. (You obviously know of dear Jim Moriarty- who, in the whole of Britain, doesn't?). He'd want something to make me go along quietly. As an unfortunate complication (or advantage, if you look at it from his side) he knows my weak spots. The snipers were trained on you, John, and possibly Molly or Mrs Hudson. If I didn't kill myself, through whatever means given to me, they would shoot you all._

_If they did, I wouldn't have the people that keep me grounded. I would become the man I was before you helped me._

_Before you found me, I was a junkie living on the streets. I had no drive, no ambitions, but I had this huge brain that seemed to be tearing itself apart, like a great engine._

_Then you come and bloody _arrest _me. _

_So, I'm sat in your office and then you come in. You had obviously been promoted recently, and you were floundering. You had no idea what to do, who to call, but by word of mouth you had obviously come across me, _The 'Great' Sherlock Holmes_. I could tell so much from you, it was easy really, but you seemed fascinated- no one had ever spoken to me like you did. You treated me like a human being, and, in hindsight, I never thanked you for that. _

_So… Thank you._

_You are actually quite a good officer, Lestrade. (If it wasn't for you, I would have probably died from my own stupidity not long after. After all, what is the point of having a great brain if you do not have a heart to match?)A brilliant man too- so just follow your instinct. Observe. You'll have London in the best shape that it has ever been, even without my help. Good Luck- I am certain you'll go far._

_And, can I ask you a favour? Can you look after John, please, for me? I worry about how my death would affect him, so please, stop him from doing anything stupid._

_Sincerely,_

_Sherlock Holmes._


	2. Molly's letter

_Dearest Molly,_

_If you're reading this, I'm obviously dead and you have probably been given this letter._

_A phone-call wouldn't be enough. An email is terribly unprofessional. I want you to realise that I have actually taken time out to write these for you._

_The clue is in the first paragraph- I am obviously dead. This, right here, what you are reading, is my suicide note to you. Firstly, though, I want to thank you for everything. Every little think I asked you did. _

_I remember when Mycroft and I were at the morgue, and you showed me 'Irene''s body. You said everyone else was busy with Christmas, but you said it through a sigh._

_That was when my view of you changed. _

_I knew that liking me would cause some awkwardness, and sometimes you were quite annoying. But rather than seeing '_just'_ Molly the Lab Tec or Pathologist, I realised that that actually meant you were alone at Christmas and honestly had nothng else to do. I started to view you as a person, with thoughts, feelings, emotions- not 'just' anything. _

_In some ways, you are a lot like myself before John. I also remember you saying that you, in my view, 'don't count'. _

_How wrong, Molly. You do count, you've always counted. To hear from you that you _think _that I don't view you as counting must reflect on how I have treated you; I hold you in high regard, I always have. You really think so low of yourself? **Don't.**_

_I have no idea how you put up with me for all these years, Molly; you were the woman who wanted to be an astronaut but ended up in medical school with only dead bodies for company. Who wouldn't be bitter and a bit of a misanthrope after that?_

_You, however? You always smiled. You always were warm, friendly, and compassionate. I have no idea how you did it, especially paired with me. I'd have punched me, by now. Or committed a murder- but that's beside the point._

_I don't really know how to express this, should you be upset (which I can imagine you would be). I can only try and (poorly) explain it as best as I can._

_Time is a straight line, and as one second goes past another arrives, but it is never the same as the one previous._

_The same goes for life; you will meet people, should you wish, and one is never the same. Each one is a second, and an event is a minute._

_My death was quite sudden and unexpected, but I am just a mere second. Just a second; nothing special. People die, people come and go, but in the grand scheme of things, I am just a person. If you are stuck on one second or minute of life, it will carry on in that straight line without you. What kind of life is that?_

_I know you will miss me, Molly, but try not to be too upset; the pain, quite obviously, is brand new. You've known pain, bitter disappointment, but not like this. I hope one-day, if it's not all clear, it will be. For example, I know that you 'liked' me. But I hope now you have some insight into why I never done anything about it._

_You will meet someone and live life as you've dreamed._

_But you can't go on if your hands are full of yesterday's junk._

_Sincerely,_

_Sherlock Holmes_


End file.
